Hard Lessons

Well, I'm having my first experience as a mother watching my child learn some hard lessons, and I have been on the verge of tears over it all morning. Princess is finally learning that if she doesn't treat her friends well, they won't want to be her friends anymore. Drummer Boy and I have been preaching that to her for a while now, and I knew the only way that she would figure it out was if it actually happened. But now it is happening and it is so hard to watch.

She has some friends who were her best buds about a year ago, but now they are more often choosing to play with other friends, and Princess is feeling left out. Part of me wants to do something to fix the situation, but another part of me realizes that this is just life, and she needs to experience it. How do I walk through this with her? What kind of support does she need from me? Right now I just want to cry over it. I think it may be hurting me more than it is hurting her.

There are two lessons that I want her to learn from this situation. The first is that if you don't treat your friends well, they'll choose not to be your friend. The second is that things are not always going to go her way, and she needs to figure out how to deal with that. The last few times we have played with a group of friends, she has felt left out and has become angry over it. She is used to being in charge and dictating the play time (an undesirable quality, I know). So, it is good that she is experiencing some resistance from the other kids to her "in charge" attitude. But, her response is to get angry and retaliate instead of to find something else or someone else to play with. This is obviously not acceptable. And this is what I've been talking her through the last couple of days.

Honestly, I fear that she will damage relationships to the point where she really doesn't have friends. And that is why I cry. I want so badly for her to learn this lesson quickly and change her ways before she makes herself an outcast. It hurts so badly to see sin in your child's heart. Don't you agree? I want her to be sweet and loving and kind to everyone, but that's just not what's in her heart right now. I guess the best thing to do is to pray and hope that as she grows and matures, and as God changes her heart, the goodness will come out more than the selfishness and anger.