A Moment to Reflect

This morning an old friend, Kyla, and I hosted a baby shower for another old friend, Carrie. It was so much fun to see some familiar faces and some new ones too, and to treat Carrie to a special time of good food, fun games, gifts and blessings for her soon-to-come- baby boy. Watching her in this time of anticipation and excitement, knowing that she has no idea of what kind of blessings and joy and trials the Lord has in store for her as a mother, makes me want to reflect on some of the things the Lord is teaching me now in my 5th year of motherhood. 

As I have mentioned, I have been reading a book entitled The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson. I'm into the 5th chapter and I just really really like it. It has helped me change my attitude as I go through the day with my children. Sally talks about how motherhood is in our original design as women, and our children are our mission field. The work that we do daily like providing meals for our kids, cleaning up messes to make a comfortable home for them, disciplining and teaching them about Jesus, reading to them, giving them opportunities to draw, build, or create something, etc., this is eternal work. It may seem like menial tasks, but it is the work of the Lord. We are working to build a Godly heritage and that is important to God, and so it is important in my life. 

Sally also talks about how our calling as mothers is to be servant leaders, as Jesus was. We are called to lay down our life for our kids. The thing that really hit me was when she said we are called to serve them when they need it, not just when it is convenient for me. I think in the past I have been set on my right to have "my time". Sometimes in the middle of the day, I just need a break. I just want to be by myself for 10 minutes, and I feel if I can't get that time, I just want to scream!!! But after reading and thinking about Sally's point, I realize that as a mother, I need to be there for my kids when they need me, and if I commit to laying down my needs and wants, I know that the Lord will give me what I need. He will give me that time alone. It might not be in the moment that I think I need it, but it will come. 

The book has been so good for me. It has helped me to have a different perspective about my role and my responsibility as a mother. It has challenged me, but it has also encouraged me to relax and let go of some things that don't really matter, so that I can focus on the things that do matter, and that is the hearts of my children.

Birthdays, birthdays, birthdays

Two days ago, Katie turned 2! My baby is definitely not a baby anymore. :( We had our family over for dinner and cake/ice cream on her birthday. She was so excited that it was her birthday. She loved her cookie cake. All day long she kept wanting to look at it and touch it. The best part was when we sang "Happy Birthday" to her. She was so excited and so cute! I think her favorite present was the Barbie tricycle from Nana and Pop.

Then today, we had a Barbie Princess Birthday Party with Princess's and Pumpkin's friends to celebrate Pumpkin's 2nd birthday and Princess's 5th birthday. It was sweet. The girls came dressed up in their princess outfits. First, the girls put on some lip gloss and eye shadow and a little body glitter at the make-up table.

Then they each made a beaded necklace or bracelet.

Then we played some Barbie games: Pin-the-purse-on-the-Barbie and Barbie-is-missing-her-favorite-things. That was funny because several of the girls just wanted to play with Princess's toys in her room. And of course the little girls didn't really catch on to the games, but it was still fun. After games, we had cake and ice cream and opened presents.

Then the girls had some more play time. I think both girls had a great time, and I hope their friends did too. I know I enjoyed watching the girls play and run around with their friends in their princess dresses. It does amaze me how much planning time and effort goes into a party that lasts only a couple of hours. Oh well. It was worth it, I think.

Now, of course, I'm exhausted. We still have Princess's family celebration on her actual birthday, June 30th. But after that, no more parties for me for a long time!! :)

Fun with T

This past week, my dear friend and her 2 1/2 year old daughter, T, came all the way from Chattanooga to visit us for a few days. We had a great time. It was SOOOOOO good to see them, and so fun for me to show an old friend my new stompin' grounds.

They arrived on Wednesday around lunch time. We spent the afternoon just playing at our house, and we had my parents over for dinner that night. Princess attached herself to my friend. She was constantly asking her to color, or play games, or read books with her. And little Pumpkin and T played well together.

Thursday we stayed home in the morning and then went to the neighborhood pool in the afternoon. That was so much fun! Princess's friends, L and C were at the pool so she played with them for a little while. And Pumpkin and T loved running through the sprinklers together. We were all exhausted after swimming, so we ordered pizza for dinner and had an early bedtime.

Friday morning, little Pumpkin had a fever, so she stayed home with Drummer Boy while T and Princess and my friend and I went to the Children's museum. That was a crazy place. There were so many kids there and it was so LOUD!! We had fun playing in the water area, and Princess loved the art area and the grocery store. But after a couple of hours there, T was done, so we went to lunch and then came home. Friday afternoon my friend and I were zonked! We tried to get the girls to play together while we talked, but that really didn't work as well as we would have hoped. We did have a great time together though. I wish she could have stayed one more day, but I am very thankful for the time we had together. And I'm so glad our girls played well together. We love T, and we hope that we will see them again soon!

What we've been up to

Last Friday we went to a really cool pool called "Noah's Ark Pool" with my longtime friend Lorie and her kids. We had a really great time. I definitely think we'll be back.

Then on Saturday we went to a blackberry farm and picked fresh blackberries. It was fun for a little while, but then it was hot. Pumpkin was "helping" me and Princess was helping Drummer Boy. I think Pumpkin had as many blackberries end up in her mouth as ended up in her bucket. :) Today, I used some of the blackberries to make a blackberry sherbet, which was surprisingly delicious. Not because of any skill I have in cooking, but because of the recipe. It was so easy! Here is the link:

http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=659242

Tomorrow, my friend and her daughter T are coming to visit. We can't wait to see them!! I'm going to try my hand at a blackberry pie tomorrow. Hopefully, it will turn out just as good.

Yesterday afternoon, we stopped by the park on the way home and the girls wanted to swing. I pushed them both for a little while, but then I need a rest. So, Princess decided to get off her swing and push Pumpkin. It was so sweet. Princess would grab Pumpkin's swing and then push her as she ran underneath it. Pumpkin giggled and chuckled. She thought her big sis was so much fun! And Princess just grinned from ear to ear every time Pumpkin laughed. I love how Princess delights in making Pumpkin happy. She is such a good big sister. And I love how Pumpkin delights in Princess. They have so much fun together. I hope they continue to play like this for a few more years at least.

Lastly, I have to brag on how smart Princess is....(this brings a smile to my face because Drummer Boy and I used to joke about how parents always think their own kids are so smart, even before they can talk. Of course, that was before we had our own kids and realized they really are smart!!) Anyway, my mom was telling me about how Pumpkin had been cranky and she had a "F-I-T" about something. (My mom spelling it because Princess was listening and she didn't want her to know what we were talking about). Princess was silent for a few seconds and then she said "You said fuss." I thought that was very smart of her because she was listening to the context of what my mom was saying and she knows what sound "F" makes, so she thought of a word that fits in that context that starts with the "F" sound. I think she's ready for kindergarten. Don't you?

Garden Update

My garden is producing vegetables!! I have 15 tomatoes, 2 green peppers, and 16 jalapenos growing. My peas didn't do very well. I had a few strands that grew pretty well, but then one day they all died. But I am so excited about the other vegetables. We already picked one little cherry tomato and we have a couple more Bush tomatoes that are getting red. The only bad thing is the mosquitos. Every time I go back there to check the veggies, I get attacked!!! I really hate mosquitos, but I'll deal with them to get my homegrown vegetables. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with all those jalapenos. I can only eat so much salsa. Any suggestions??? Also my basil plant is out of control. I've made 3 batches of pesto already. I'm not sure what else to do with it.

Summer Goal

I just want to say that my goal this summer is to PLAY WITH MY KIDS!! My mother gave me some very good advice last week. She said, "you'll have plenty of time to clean your house when your kids are older." Since then, I've decided I'm letting go of the cleaning. I'll do my monthly cleaning of the bathrooms and hopefully Drummer Boy will continue to vacuum the hardwoods every 2-3 weeks, but as far as dusting and windows and details like that, I'm letting it go. I'll get to it when I get to it. Right now, this summer, the important thing is that I play with my girls.

I feel like I have limited time left with Princess. She's starting kindergarten in 3 months! And kindergarten here is full day, 5 days a week! Starting in the fall, I'm only going to really see her on the weekends. And that starts the next 13 years of her life!! I know, this is a little dramatic. But I'm realizing that this summer is really a great opportunity for me to get down and dirty with the girls. I'm not working. I'm not volunteering for anything. I'm not leading any bible studies or on any committees. So that means I have plenty of time to play, and that is what I intend to do! Now, I just need everyone reading this blog to keep me accountable.

Struggling

I am struggling. The girls are officially out of school for the summer, and honestly, I am a little nervous about it. I've never been at home with them full time without them being in school. I've always worked and had them in daycare. Like I've said before, I want more than anything to be a good mother. But I'm convinced that part of being a "good mother" is taking care of myself and my marraige. And I don't really know how to do this with only 24 hours in the day.

Lately I've been struggling again with having patience and understanding with my children. I feel like Paul when he said in Romans, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do... For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing." I can feel my stress building and building throughout the day until I just want to scream. And I don't even know why. I don't know what it is that sets me over the edge. Anytime I ask my girls to do something and they don't do it right away, I get frustrated. And then I say to myself, "they are only 2 and 5 Amy. You can't expect them to be perfect." But then I still get frustrated again the next time. And I end up making bad decisions because I'm not thinking clearly because of my frustration and irritability. There are times in the day when I would do anything to just be alone!!! I hate the way I feel. I hate feeling this way. I want to be a good mother, but yet I can't do it.

And then I go to church today and I am reminded that the Lord calls us to pour ourselves out for others. Pour myself out for my children. Not because they deserve it. Not because they are sweet and lovely and well-behaved. But because that is what Christ did for me and that is what he has called me to at this point in my life. Pour myself out for them. Give and give and give some more. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually. But I also have to fill myself up emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. That's where the issue of balance comes in. I have to have some time for myself to fill myself up so that I have something to pour out to them. I am currently reading 2 books that I hope will help me with some of these issues: Confessions of a Slacker Mom by Muffy Mead-Ferro, recommended to me by my friend Katie, and The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson, recommended to me by my friend Aimee. I hope to post an update of some insight I have gained from these books.

Again, I just ask for encouragement, guidance, and HELP from the Lord. I am totally inadequate for this job He has given me as Mother. I just pray that when Princess and Pumpkin grow up, they remember the times that we played together and the love that I have showed them instead of all my frustration and irritability.

The pictures are of Princess and her teacher, Ms. Dondi, and Pumpkin with her teachers, Ms. Rosa and Ms. Fatin. I also am posting a picture of Princess in her ballet/tap recital costume because she is so beautiful, I just have to share. :)