Native American Names

Last week, Princess and I were talking about names and I told her that if she was Native American, her name would describe her or tell something about what she likes to do. I told her that if she was Native American, her name would probably be Draws with Markers. She thought that was really funny, but later that night when I was telling Drummer Boy about it, he came up with a more appropriate name for her: Doesn't Sit Still.

This morning, I told Princess that her new Native American name is Doesn't Sit Still. We then proceeded to come up with Native American names for our whole family. Princess wanted to name Pumpkin "Stinky Diapers". But in the end, it was a toss up between "Snacks Alot" and "Screams Loudly". Princess named me "Cooks Ice Cream" and Dummer Boy's name is "Walks Around". I'm not sure why she wanted Walks Around for him. We'll have to think about that and come up with something better, like "Watches College Football" or "Plays with Doesn't Sit Still".

She Wants Me??

From the beginning of Princess's little life, she has been a daddy's girl through and through. One of my favorite stories to tell about her is the time she just came right out and told me so. It was last fall I think. We were driving home in the late afternoon and she asked if daddy was home yet. I told her that he'd be home in about an hour. She pouted. In response to her pout, I said, "you love your daddy don't you?" And she said, "Yeah, I love him more than I love you." I naturally acted shocked and hurt, and so she asked, "That's okay mommy, isn't it?" "Yes, it is okay, " I said, "because I know that you love me." And she responds, "I do love you mommy, but I love daddy more." I love this story so much because at that time I knew that she had always felt that way, and she was just now able to verbalize it. It probably would hurt my feelings if my #2 hadn't been a momma's girl, but truthfully, I am just thankful that she has such a great relationship with her daddy.

Lately though, she has been asking for me sometimes. Especially at bedtime. Daddy has always been the one to read to her and put her to bed, but in the last month or so, she has asked me to put her to bed. And tonight on the way home, she wanted me to sit next to her in the car. In the midst of all the struggles we have had in our parenting lately, these little tiny requests of my presence give me hope. They make my heart smile. I often feel like 90% of my interaction with her is disciplining and training, but these little moments remind me that she also needs nurturing, gentleness, physical touch and love. One day she won't need all that training anymore and I hope that I will have taken advantage of these moments with her enough, that she will still ask for me sometimes when she wants someone to talk to, or needs some advice, or just longs for physical closeness with someone who loves her. When Princess requests me instead of her daddy, it makes me think I must be doing something right. But it is also an opportunity for me to do something right, to take advantage of her request and make the most of it. To love her with my time, my words, my touch, my smile. And maybe when I do that, she will ask for me once more. 

Big Feet

As is our family custom, we took our beginning-of-the-season trip to the Stride Rite Outlet to get the girls one good pair of shoes for the fall. At the beginning of the summer, we bought them new shoes sized 6 for Pumpkin and 10 for Princess. I knew that their feet had grown over the summer, and I knew that they had both grown considerably taller, but I was still shocked when the Stride Rite lady measured them at a 7 1/2 and 11!!! I don't know why I was so shocked, but I was. I just can't believe how fast they are growing. My little girls are getting so big, with big feet too! Of course, then our pediatrician told me on Monday that Princess is on track to be only 5'3" when she is done growing. So I guess her growing feet don't mean much in the long run. Only time will tell.

Present for Her and for Me

My bestest friend came to visit me from Nashville this past weekend, with her sweet little baby in tow. It was her birthday present from her husband, but it was really a present for me too. It was a wonderful weekend. We didn't do much, really. We just spent time together, talking and relaxing and playing and being moms. 

It is so nice to have a friend like her that I can just be myself with. I totally respect her and love her. I think she is an awesome mom and a faithful friend. I strive to be like her in so many ways, but she also makes me feel confident in who I am. The best thing about it is that our friendship hasn't always been this way. God brought us together many years ago and He has molded and strengthened our friendship to what it is today. There was a time when I couldn't have imagined this, but I am so thankful that what God has in store for us is usually beyond our imagination. 

I have to say thank you to her husband for giving both of us a great present and for taking care of her other 3 children all weekend so that we could have some peaceful time together. And I also have to thank my husband for being a superdad, taking care of both of my girls throughout the weekend so that my friend and I could have some time alone. It was a great weekend, and I already miss her.

Kindergarten!!!

Today was the first day of kindergarten for Princess. She was so excited. We were all excited!! After a difficult summer of being a full-time stay-at-home mom, I was ready for school to start. I don't mean to imply that now she is in school, I don't have to be a mom anymore. I just mean that I was looking forward to a break. As you know, if you have read my past blogs, trying to be the mom that God has called me to be is the hardest challenge in my life. Yes, even harder than the NCC exam!! At church on Sunday, Ron's sermon was about not trying to achieve God's favor, but receiving God's favor. He talked about having patience to let God work out his promise, rather than trying to achieve God's promise. I immediately thought about Princess and how I try to do the right thing and try to teach her and train her the way that God would want me to. But I am impatiently expecting some results that aren't coming quick enough. I have been getting frustrated that God has promised that He would work on her heart and I'm not seeing any heart change. Ron's sermon was perfect, reminding me that I need to be patient for as long as it takes, and let God work out his promise to change her heart, rather than trying to do it myself.

Anyway, that was a side tangent. Back to kindergarten...So today was the first day and we were all excited. The moms at our bus stop planned to have a little breakfast buffet as we were waiting for the bus to come. It was fun. There are 7 kids at our bus stop. We were all out in the humidity eating and chatting, the kids were all happy. Princess wasn't nervous at all. She was just happy and excited. Then the bus came and they all lined up to get on. Princess got on the bus and sat in her seat next to the window. She waved to me and smiled. Her friends got on and sat with her. They all waved again and the bus drove away. It wasn't until then that a wave of emotion just came over me. I couldn't stop it. My eyes filled with tears as I watched her ride away on the yellow school bus. I thought, "there goes my little girl, all on her own." And she wasn't even scared, just thrilled to be on the school bus, going to kindergarten.

I was the only mom at the bus stop that cried. I honestly was surprised that the tears came, although I don't know why I am surprised. I cry at commercials for goodness sakes!! I am one of the most sympathetic people I know (or is it just pathetic?).

Anyway, she had a great day. She got off the bus with a smile on her face. She made a new friend and she likes her teacher and she is excited to go back to school tomorrow. She also went right to sleep tonight, exhausted! This is the beginning of the next 12 years of her life. Welcome to school Princess!

Have I Learned Anything?

I just read my friend's blog and she commented on the fact that she is 8 years into parenting and still knows next to nothing! Well I'm 5 years in and I feel the same way. Everyday is challenging. Everyday I screw up. But, like my friend Carrie said, "everyday is a new day for me to exercise my faith." Praise God that his mercies are new every morning. Have I mentioned that parenting is the hardest thing I've ever done? Sometimes I feel totally inadequate. Bewildered. Helpless. Even hopeless. Will it ever change? Will my child grow up to be a responsible, caring, loving, generous adult, or will she always be the way she is now? It is so hard to watch the rebellion in your child's heart manifest itself. And then when I regain my self-control and breath a deep breath, I go in and talk to her about the sin in her heart, and she says, "you have sin in your heart too." And what do I say to that? Yes, I do. Lots of it. And it sucks. I just pray that all this talking and disciplining and instructing and training will one day make a difference. I have to believe that it will. One day.

School is about to start. One more week of summer left. On one hand, I am excited about it. Princess is definitely excited, and I am looking forward to my time one-on-one with Pumpkin and my time alone when Pumpkin is at mother's day out. But, on the other hand, I have some concerns. I am not worried about how she will do. I know she will do just fine, probably better than fine. I'm not worried about her making friends or sitting still (although I've never actually seen her sit still). I'm worried about the fact that we still have so much to work on in the way of obedience and respect. For the next 8 months, the only time I will have with her to "train her in the way she should go" will be in the morning when we are rushing around to get ready for school and in the evening when she is mentally exhausted from school and on the weekends. There is one argument for home school. But, that is not what we have chosen for her, so I will do the best with the time I have with her. I just hope that Drummer Boy and I can find a balance between holding her to the standard of obedience and respectfulness that we believe is right and giving her grace as she adjusts to a long day of school. As always, any advice or encouragement from friends is appreciated. 

And a Happy Birthday it was

Thank you to all those who called/emailed/facebooked me some birthday wishes. I felt very cared for on my day. :)

It was, in fact, a happy birthday. The girls and I went to the YMCA in the morning for Princess's gymnastics class. On the way there I got my first birthday present. I had absentmindedly left my cell phone on the top of my car and realized it on our way down the feeder road when I heard a "clunck-clunck" outside of the car. Dread swept over me, mostly because I knew what Drummer Boy would think about my stupidity. But amazingly enough, when I pulled into the YMCA parking lot and got out of the car, there was my phone sitting on the top of my car. I was amazed!! I told Princess, God really loves me and He didn't want me to loose my phone on my birthday!!.

So that was my first gift. At the YMCA, I tried putting Pumpkin in the childcare by herself for the first time (she usually has her sister in there to play with her) so that I could exercise while Princess was in her class, and Pumpkin did just fine. So, I exercised, Pumpkin played, and Princess tumbled, and we all left the YMCA happy campers.

Then we went out to lunch with my mom. It was a nice lunch, just me and mom and the girls. As we pulled into the restaurant parking lot, I got a call from the Neonatology group that I interviewed with a couple of weeks ago, informing me that they would like to extend me an offer for a part-time job. Happy Birthday to me again! I am very excited about that!

Then last night, we had our family over for fajitas, margaritas, and mocha mud pie. All in all, it was a fantastic birthday. A special day spent with the special people in my life. Thanks so much!